Can't Stop Talking Those Lions (Honolulu) Blues

What's happening in Detroit sports? The Tigers start their 2008 season Monday after trading and signing one of the best young talents in baseball with a good chance to get back to the World Series. The Pistons will finish second in their conference and try to make it six straight Eastern Conference Finals appearance. The Red Wings begin their 17th straight playoff quest for the Stanley Cup after finishing with the NHL's best record. But of course all Detroit sports radio can discuss (beside Mayor Kwame's recent criminal indictment) is the Detroit Lions.

In 2007, the Lions had their usual train wreck of a season. They started with one of the shakiest 6-2 starts ever, losing in 50 point blow outs to Washington and Philadelphia. Still, there was reason for optimism as fully 80 percent of teams that start 6-2 make the playoffs.

But as the second half wore on, we were once again reminded that the Lions are not like other teams, or really, any other professional sports team. They went 1-7 in their final eight games for a 7-9 record, which in the perverse recent history of the Lions made that their best record since the 2000 season. (The year before Matt Millen began his quest to become the worst front office executive of all time.)

Their first off season move was firing their genius offensive coordinator and replacing him with the offensive line coach. This was a bit curious as their offensive line was one of the worst in the league all season, one that was causing quarterback Jon Kitna to see miracles all season (what the less evangelistic might call concussions.) Apparently, it was just that the blocking schemes were too complicated, and they figure once those are dumbed down, by their new coordinator, they will find that running game that can never quite put together.

But the Lions are a few key pieces short of a running game: mainly an effective offensive line especially at the tackle positions and a running back. Despite the lack of excitement such a pick brings, Detroit media and sports radio callers are begging the Lions to take a OT. But it seems like they have other ideas, and I think it is time they drafted for defense. Which might be the plan for the Lions. Because as bad as the offense was last year, the defense was a whole lot worse.

Whatever happens we can be pretty sure it will be the wrong one, and the player will most likely eventually be waived, traded for a third round draft pick or go to prison for manslaughter.

Lions 2008 Calendar Update: (Gift for Christmas)

January - Jon "10 Win" Kitna
February - Kenoy Kennedy
March - Jeff "False Start" Backus
April - Boss Bailey
May - MIke "Call Me' Furrey
June - Ernie "You See, the Lions Can't Mess Up All Their First Round Draft Picks" Sims
July - Dan "Are You Sure He's on the Team" Campbell
August - Cory "Better Step Up This Year" Redding
September - Kalimba Edwards
October - Kevin Jones
November - Fernando Bryant
December - Roy "Not Here Much Longer" Williams